All She Needed
by Pantz
Summary: [One Shot] Would you save me? Save you from what? All she wants is for him to rescue her. R and R


_**Disclaimer: everything from HP books belongs to Jk Rowling**_

_**Hero**_

She doesn't like to talk about it, about him. If someone asks about her first love, the first man to ever steal her heart, she giggles nervously and replies, "It was so long ago. I hardly even think about it anymore." _She thinks about him everyday._

People ask him a lot if it's weird that his best friend is engaged to the first girl he ever loved. They ask if it bothers him at all, to watch them kiss, to know that he gets to hold her like he did, touch her like he did. He always smiles, the normal sad, hardened smile and says, "All that matter is their happiness." _He wishes for his friend's misery, for his own sadness to disappear._

Their story is sad really, heartbreaking. Every story is though. Every story that isn't a fairy tale, that isn't displayed on a big screen or written in a book ends in heartbreak. She smiles sadly when she thinks about it, "It's all part of life," she says to herself. But alone in her room she wonders what could have been. She wonders why life couldn't be a fairytale, why he couldn't be hers forever. She misses him, she only ever admits to herself.

He drowns in memories of her, drowns in pictures and a big bottle of scotch. He misses her. Every single person he meets can see the wound of heartbreak shining through his eyes, the pain of losing his one and only love. She sees it, that he still loves her. She feels it in his light touches, in the way he hugs her longer than necessary. She sees it in the big bottle of scotch always on his counter. It's sad she thinks, the way life changes, the way people change with it.

_She used to run to him in front of the common room. She would jump on him, hug him. They would walk together, hand in hand, eyes always staring discreetly. _

"_Remus, come walk with me."_

"_Lily, you're crazy. It's pouring outside."_

"_So! Rem, its only water." And she would stare at him, pout irresistibly._

"_Please, please, please, please!!!"_

_And he would always give in to her, always do the crazy things she begs of him. And he was always rewarded, rewarded with her smile, with her shining green eyes, with her kisses that left them both breathless._

It's not something either of them likes to dwell on. Lost love, wanting something every second of their life but having it always out of reach, they would rather just not remember. And she has him, the guy she has promised eternal love to, the one she's going to marry. And he'll spend his life with her, live with her as she pines discreetly away for the one she lost, as she waits for him to rescue her.

_She was so naïve, so innocently beautiful. And he always seemed so wise to her, so much older then his few years. And she felt safe with him, felt as if no matter what he would be there, making sure she's happy, she's loved._

"_Remus, would you save me?" And he would look at her and laugh._

"_Save you from what?"_

"_Does it matter? I just need to know, would you save me?"_

"_From anything you need me too." And she would smile and lean on him staring out at the lake._

"_Do you think this is love, Remus? Do you think this is how love is supposed to be?"_

"_I can't imagine it being any other way." _

_And they would look at each other and stare into their eyes._

"_I love you, Lil."_

"_Always and forever?"_

"_Always and forever."_

_And back then it was as if it would be like that forever. It was as if nothing could break the love inside of them, as if life always gives you a clear path to happiness. Obstacles didn't exist for them; not being together wasn't an option._

She'll smile when it's brought up, when James jokes or when Sirius brings out a photo album. She laughs at Remus chasing her, laughs at James courting her, but when she's alone she cries. She swears on her happiness, swears to herself that she doesn't miss him, that she's happier now than she's ever been. But her tears are the evidence of a heartbreak that never went away, the loss of a love that will stay with her forever.

"_Why?"_

"_Because I can't do this anymore."_

"_Stop this, stop this right now! Remus, I love you. Why? Just tell me why?"_

_He looks at her, into her glossy eyes, and his heart breaks as the tears roll down her cheeks. But his face, his face was emotionless to the pain swirling around inside of him._

"_You won't understand. You can't possibly understand!"_

"_How Remus? When I have I ever not understood you?"_

"_How can you understand, Lil? How can you possible know what it's like to be me?" she was silent and more tears fell out of her eyes._

"_I just need to be alone. I need to be free, to be myself."_

"_And am I that bad? Do I really make life so hard for you?"_

"_I'm sorry, but I just need this. I need space."_

"_Look at me Remus, look at me! Don't you love me at all?"_

"_I'm sorry." And he walks away, walks toward loneliness, toward despair, and she cries all night, cries in James's arms and feels safe. That's all she really wants, to be rescued from emptiness, from pain. _

And he is sorry for that night; to this day he is still sorry. But he's not sorry he hurt her, not sorry for the pain he caused her, for the broken heart nothing could fix. He's sorry for this, for condemning himself to a life of misery he knows she could have saved him from. She would have given him a future of happiness and love. He turned away from it that night, turned away from her and her love, and a day doesn't go by when he isn't jealous of James, when he doesn't wish that was him. _He watches her kiss James and her love James and he can't help but think that, that should have been him._

She's just trying to live now, just trying to live life contently. He shattered her innocence, shattered her very soul, and not a day goes by when she doesn't remember that night, when she doesn't think of the way her left her, of the hours that James held her. And she smiles when people ask how James and she came to be. "He just helped me through a very hard time." She says. "He rescued me when no one else was around." And then she looks around her trying to see if he's there coming to save her, still hoping for the impossible. He promised her, she thinks, he promised that he would always save her. _He should have been her hero._

End L/R

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